The Forever Hearts Talkshow
by Hana-Chan00
Summary: Hosted by Hana and Hikari, the gang from Inuyasha and Naruto end up on a talkshow. There's bound to be some odd things happening..
1. And the weirdness begins

The Forever Hearts Talk Show Biz

Good Evening and welcome to our late night anime nerd talk show. We have 8 guests here tonight with us, and they are all crazy. Please remain in your seat.

Hana-chan: Let us bring out the first 2 guests which are Sasuke and Naruto.

(audience applauses)

Hikari-chan: Next let's bring out the next 3 guests which are Sakura, Ino and Shikamaru.

(audience applauses)

Hana-chan: And are last guests of the night are Orochimaru, Gaara, and Hinata.

(The audience doesn't applaud)

Naruto: Boo you guys stink, that's why you're not up here.

Hana-chan: Anywayyyyyy, hi you guys and thanks for coming. I have a question for Sasuke.

Sasuke: "Hn"

Hikari-chan: Stop being so rude Sasuke, don't you know how to talk and use words?

Sasuke:-glares at Hikari-

Hikari-chan: -hides under chair-

Hana-chan: Okay so anyway, Sasuke. Are you gay? I mean it sounds like it in your name. _Sas-ukegay_


	2. Sasgay's rant and Hinata has spoken!

Sasuke: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT HUH? I AM NOT GAY AND YOU BETTER NOT SAY ONE MORE THING ABOUT MY GOD*** NAME!

Hana-chan: -mumbles- defensive much

Hikari-chan: Back to the talk show people okkkkk. Gaara! I love you OMG –smiles at Gaara-

Gaara: -backs away slowly- stay away from me you FREAK.

Hana-chan: HAHAHAHA. Ok, but anyway, Gaara please take your seat.

Gaara: If she stays away from me I will.

Hikari-chan: *fake cries* *sob sob* *peeks* *sob sob*

Gaara: I saw that.

Hikari-chan: No you didn't. I MEAN..*sob sob*

Hana-chan: *rolls eyes* Gaara, how is it like being Kazekage?

Gaara: I'd say it started out horrible, and I admit it sucked but, after supporting everyone in the village, it got better over time.

Naruto: You just wait, I'm gonna become Hokage!

(Audience applause)

Hana-chan: Ok ok settle down my peeps, now Naruto, what is your relationship with Hinata? (grins)

Naruto: Uh..err..umm..(Slightly blushes and stutters)

Hinata: Well, nothing.

Hana-chan: Hinata? EVERYONE, HINATA HAS SPOKEN!

(Dramatic gasps from the audience)

Hinata: Seriously..


	3. Fainting Chicks And Brofists

Hikari-chan: What I want to know is if Sasuke-kun has a girlfriend. (wink wink)

Hana-chan: Ew.

Sasuke: I really don't think that's any of your business.

Hana-chan: I second that motion.

Naruto: Dude brofist.

Hana-chan: Brofist.

(Naruto and Hana brofist.)

(Hinata glares at Hana)

Hana-chan: Would you like to say something Hinata?

Hinata: Hm. Well, I don't think a "brofist" is necessary right now.

Hana-chan: Too late, ANYWAY, can we have some questions from the audience?

(audience cheers)

(Hana points to a random girl in the crowd)

Girl: Ok, this is a question for Oro-chan.

Hana-chan: Go ahead. (sigh)

Girl: May I bear your child? (googly eyes)

Orochimaru: Only if you'll be my test subject. MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

Girl: Oh dear, this is the best day of my life..(faints)

Hana-chan: Um..ok uh hold on peeps.

SECURITY! PICKUP IN AISLE 7!


	4. Secret dating or bad memory?

Hana-chan: So any other questions?

(Hikari picks a random girl)

Girl: Ok this is a question for the wonderful Shika and the beautiful Ino.

Hikari-chan: Go on.

Girl: Well, everyone has been dying to know..ARE YOU TWO SECRETLY DATING OR SOMETHING!?

Shikamaru: Yes.

Ino: No.

Shikamaru: What the heck Ino?

Ino: What do you mean what the heck, same to you Shikamaru.

(Temari stomps onto the stage)

Temari: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHIKAMARU?

Shikamaru: Uh..(whispers) WE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE I CAME HERE!

Temari: NO WE DIDN'T!

Shikamaru: YOU DON'T REMEMBER THAT'S WHY!

Temari: Really?

Shikamaru: YES really.

Temari: *derp face*

(Temari walks off stage awkwardly)


	5. Hana' s Spazzout Attack

Hana-chan: Bye Temari!

Temari: Bye.

(Audience is dumbfounded)

Hikari-chan: Sasuke, your hair is so soft..(she is currently holding Sasuke down and touching his hair)

Sasuke: RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. RAPE. SAKURA HELP ME.

Sakura: ANYTHING FOR YOU SASUKE-KUN!

(Sakura jumps on Hikari and they start wrestling)

(Naruto walks over to Hana and they both stare in shock)

Hana-chan: Uh..hold on people.

(Hana hands her microphone to Naruto and walks over to the wrestling girls)

Hana-chan: ************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

(*-Colorful curse words)

Naruto: Um folks, it looks like it's time for a short break!

(Curtain falls onto stage and loud screaming and arguing is heard)

(Commercial about tampons comes up on a few of the large flat screen TV's)

(The audience gives out a few uncomfortable coughs)

(Commercial ends and the curtain rises with Hana and Hikari standing in the middle of the stage)


	6. Will you bear my child?

Hana-chan: Welcome back folks!

Hikari-chan: Our previous guests are backstage but we have a few special guests.

(Audience claps)

Hana-chan: Come on out Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, and Miroku!

(Audience cheers)

Inuyasha: HEY WHAT'S THAT NOISE?! IS THERE A DEMON NEARBY?!

(Audience laughs)

Inuyasha: What's so funny? *derp face*

Kagome: Inuyasha! We're on live TV so behave yourself.

Inuyasha: What's l-i-v-e T-V?

Sango: *facepalm*

Miroku: I don't know but I see there are a lot of beautiful women here.

(Miroku runs off stage into the crowd talking to a young woman sitting next to her boyfriend)

Miroku: Oh miss, how beautiful you are..

(Miroku holds her hands betweend his)

Girl: *blushes* Why thank you..

Miroku: I cannot waste such a great opportunity like this so miss, would you mind bearing a beautiful child of mine?

Guy: HEY WATCH IT BUDDY!

Miroku: Oh sir, how beautiful she is, wouldn't you agree? I mean she's perfect for bearing my child. I just know it.


	7. A rape victims cries

Miroku: Oh sir, how beautiful she is, wouldn't you agree? I mean she's perfect for bearing my child. I just know it.

Guy: Your face isn't gonna be so perfect if you keep it up. Now back off my girlfriend or I'll hammer you 10 feet under!

Miroku: *Large gulp and sweatdrop*

Sango: MIROKU GET BACK UP HERE!

Inuyasha: That pervert..

Kagome: *sigh*

(Miroku runs back onto the stage)

Hana-chan: Um..ok well folks lets move on to our questions!

(Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, and Sango take their seats)

Hikari-chan: So Inuyasha, do you have a special someone right now? *wink wink*

(Sasuke enters randomly)

Sasuke: DON'T DO IT MAN. SHE'S GONNA RAPE YOU!

(Sakura enters and pulls a sobbing Sasuke backstage)

(Inuyasha is stunned)

Hikari-chan: That Sasuke..I'm gonna get him for that *growls*

Hana-chan: Anyway Inuyasha, is there?

Inuyasha: U-uh..W-ell..(backs far away from Hikari) Yes, there is.

(Audience gasps and some girls start crying)

Hikari-chan: *********fjdkghfklf*************fkdgfsdjfgfuueikSJNDSIFGHFI*************

(*=Colorful curse words)

(Hikari storms off the stage yelling at a screaming, crying Sasuke for ruining her chances)

(Brawling between two girls is heard)

Hana-chan: Ugh…SECURITY! BACKSTAGE NOW!

Hana-chan: Well I can't do this alone…I need another host..ah I've got it!

Hana-chan: NARUTO! COM'ERE!

(Naruto enters)


	8. Miroku's idiocy and Sango's anger

Naruto: You called Hana?

Hana-chan: Yeah do you mind being my show host until Hikari comes back?

Naruto: Well..ok.

(Hana hands him a microphone from her pocket..she must have known something like this would happen..)

Naruto: Well folks let's continue.

Hana-chan: So Miroku and Sango-

Naruto: IS IT TRUE?! ARE YOU TWO TOGETHER?! (Googly eyes)

Hana-chan: *sighs*

Naruto: Whaaaaat? I've been dying to know..

Sango: Well actually, we are dating but if Miroku keeps up his acts…

Miroku: I won't!

Hana-chan: Haha.

Miroku: It's not funny to laugh at my pain..

Naruto: It kind-of is..

Hana-chan: Heh, anyway Miroku, you'd better shape up before she kicks you to the curb.

Miroku: I will! I want her to bear my children.

Sango: *rolls eyes* That's sweet…in a way..

Miroku: Yes my dear.

Hana & Naruto: *wipes a tear from their eyes* Beautiful..

Sango: *smiles and hugs Miroku*

Miroku: (Holds her and moves his hand closer to her butt)

Sango: Miroku..why do you insist on ruining good moments..?

Miroku: I don't know what you mean by that my dear.(continues to rub her butt)

(Sango slaps him and a red hand mark is left on his face)


	9. Inuyasha's temper and Hana's injury

Inuyasha & Kagome: Pervert..

Hana-chan: Well does the audience have any questions?

(The girls start screaming and guys start whistling)

(Hana points to a random dude)

Guy: Kagome, are ya free tonight?

Kagome: Well..*blushes*

Inuyasha: No, she's busy.

Guy: You're not the boss of her.

Inuyasha: Well, she's not interested.

Guy: Says who?

Inuyasha: Says me.

Guy: Well maybe you wanna do somethin' about it buddy?

Inuyasha: Well maybe I do!

(Inuyasha pulls out Tessaiga and jumps off stage)

Guy: Ohhh I'm so scared, ha a fake sword ain't gonna scare me off.

Hana-chan: (Jumps off stage and jumps on Inuyasha's back trying to rangle Tessaiga from him)

Naruto: Hana don't or you'll-

(Hana pulls it out of his grasp and Tessaiga burns her hands)

(Hana yells)

(Naruto jumps off stage and runs to her and Inuyasha walks over to her)

Inuyasha: Hana, why would you do that?!

Hana-chan: I was trying to stop you..ahh it hurts..a lot..

Naruto: I tried to tell you..

Hana-chan: Yeah I know, I know.

(Sakura runs off stage and over to Hana)


	10. Healers' argument and Rapping!

Sakura: Here, Hana let me heal you.

(Kagome goes over to her)

Kagome: Maybe some healing urbs would be better?

Sakura: It would be quicker if I healed her.

Kagome: But the effect would be better if I used urbs.

Sakura: No, my chakra is stronger and longer-lasting if I concentrate.

Kagome: But, my healing urbs are top quality.

Sakura: So my healing isn't?

Kagome: Well, you said it, not me.

Sakura: What's that supposed to mean?!

Inuyasha: KAGOME, SAKURA WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ARGUING!

Naruto: Ok listen, Sakura you carry her back stage and you two can help her ok?

Sakura & Kagome: Fine.

Hana-chan: Can you hurry? It's getting worse.

Sakura: Oh sorry Hana, ok up we go. (Sakura picks her up and carries her backstage)

(Naruto and Inuyasha become temporary hosts)

Naruto: Well folks, sorry about the scene earlier but, now we can get back to business.

Inuyasha: Um..any questions? No, ok. Shows over.

Naruto: Inuyasha, that's not how it works, you actually need to give them a chance to answer.

Inuyasha: Ohhh…ok.

Naruto: Ok, now any further questions?

(Naruto picks a girl)

Girl: Inuyasha, you're hot, and Naruto, I love you. That is all.

(Inuyasha and Naruto are shocked and stutter their words awkwardly)

Inuyasha &Naruto: Ok folks, that's all for today, thanks for coming out, and goodnight!

(Everyone comes out from backstage and they all get in a line and kick their legs and hug eachother singing "I love you" from Barney)

Everyone: "I love you"

"You love me"

(Hana, Naruto, and Hikari jump out of no where with hats backwards singing like rappers)

Hana: Yo I love you!

Naruto: Hey and you love me!

Hikari: And that purple dinosaur, yeah they one they call Barney, that fool raped me!

Naruto: It started on the bed son!

Hana: And it ended on the floor!

Hikari, Naruto, Hana: WE GOT RAPED BY THAT PERVERT DINOSAUR!

(Killer Bee jumps out of no where)

Bee: Fool, ya fool!

(They bow and the audience cheers and screams)

(Everyone gets off stage and thanks the audience and so on)


End file.
